Friday, December 23, 2011

Not-so-Great Expectations

This is so great.  Because we recently completed an international move, no one expects a damn thing from me.  If I'm a real dud personality-wise one day, everyone says, "It's OK, you just moved across the ocean! You must be so sleepy!" 

And it doesn't end there --

Me: "Sorry, I didn't buy you anything for Christmas."
Kind person: "Of course you didn't!  You had bigger things to think about!"

Me:  "I didn't bring a damn thing to your potluck."
Kind person: "Well why would you?  You flew longtime on a plane a few weeks back!"

Me:  "I don't know who you are.  Why are you hugging me?"
Weird person: "It's me, your mother, stupid." 

I wonder how long I'll be able to get away with this.  When will I no longer be forgiven for being a miserable person and friend due to my recent move suffering? 

Me: "Sorry, I forgot your birthday."
Kind person: "It's OK, you just moved!"
Me: "Actually we moved over a year ago."
Kind person: "But what a move it was!"

it's snowy here

This post is a shortie because it's almost Christmas and the house is filling with people, most of whom I want to talk to.  But one last thing before I go.

My parents invited a few of their friends over recently to meet me.  Their friends have been wonderfully supportive blog followers since the beginning but I'd never met them.  It was time to meet my public.
My mama got stuck in a holiday stampede at the grocery store so wasn't around to set up for our get-together, which was unfortunate because she was the only one who knew what to serve for snacks and drinks.  This left Dad and me running in circles wondering what the hell to do five minutes before everyone showed up.

Dad did a great job locating apple cider and gingerbread cookies.  But when I saw his presentation, I had a feeling it was not what Mom had envisioned --

   festive pile o' cookies in a basket

It's OK, Dad, we all understand.  You and Mom and your two kids moved back to the U.S. from Germany forty years ago.  You must be so tired!

P.S. My public is awesome and funny and brought booze, food, and a dinosaur book.  It's like they already knew us or something.

Happy whatever you celebrate, or don't celebrate, or whatever, posse.  Just go have some fun.


  1. Colorado looks beautiful, but you'll really know you're home when the family starts pissing you off again! Merry Christmas!

  2. Live it up; it won't last long. And Merry Christmas!

  3. And Joyeux Noël to you too, MJ. I am a bit disappointed you will not be in your Seattle condo when we have brunch on top of the Space Needle with my Parisian MIL on Sunday. I was really looking forward to wave at you through the big windows... We could have done this once or twice only as it takes forever for the dang thing to complete a full circle! Oh well. I am happy you got to meet your "public." How exciting! Veronique (French Girl in Seattle)

  4. milk it baby, milk it <3

    and Joyeux Noel

  5. :)

    happy holidays to you and your loved ones!

  6. Nothing like a festive pile o cookies......

    Merry Christmas to one and all.....from all your posse !

  7. That pile o 'cookies sure looks a hell of a lot better than the pile of dog s**t I had to step over in order to shove my way into the Shopi so I could get glared out by the surly salesgirl. Ah, Paris at Christmas. Smile at a few random people on the street for me will you?

    Merry Christmas!

  8. MMMM...basket of cookies. I need to take presentation pointers from your father.

  9. I too hope everyone will make excuses for me in June!:)

    Neither snow nor rain in Paris:) Doing the Christmas lights tour tonight!:) Yihaa!:) Ever the great revellers, we were in bed snoring at 11 pm last night:) Celebrating Christmas Day in style today with a long walk along the Seine, a visit to the Institut du monde arabe and mint tea at the Grande Mosquée!:) That's how we roll, folks!:)

    Wishing you a very merry WHITE Christmas with your folks, MJ:)

  10. Merry Festivus/Christmas/Hanukkah/Solstice, etc. I love the cookie basket! I think your dad's hosting sensibilities are great. :) Look! Snow! In Colorado! I heard about it from my kiddos, too. Fun! That's some good sledding out where you guys are staying.

    So that was some move. Like Z writes, milk it for all it's worth! ;-)

    Have a happy one, chick.

    P.S. MJ the camera is working really well. A full report shall be coming forthwith, but you can check out a couple of photos I took with her on my blog. She's a Nikon P500 & the next-best thing to a DSLR. Thank you. We also enjoyed the Picard frozen shrimp you donated to us with our Christmas Eve dinner yesterday. The amuse bouche. Yum. I made cocktail sauce with ketchup and lemon juice, just so those Picard shrimp would not seem so uppity for us Ghetto Paris folk. :D

  11. Merry Christmas MJ! Welcome back to our beautiful country!

    Life´s one tough, intriguing, amazing and fun chess game board. Eventually everything falls in the right place. Just hang in there!

    In what part of the Universe do people who spend three years in a foreign country are expected to be the same as when they left?

    Maybe Jules Verne has the answer...