Tuesday, April 10, 2012

This post is sexy if you think ants are sexy

Thanks for your support of The Loosh and our family, posse.  It sure was a rough week, but we're moving past "the incident" nicely.

The other night Lucien fell asleep on our bed on a pile of newspaper.  When we moved him to his own bed, we saw he had newspaper ads printed all over the side of his face, so we did what any proper parent would do -- we pointed and laughed until he woke up and looked at us with wide, confused eyes.

So yep, it's safe to say the kid gloves are off again, and it's back to business and mockery of the children as usual.  But again, thank you for supporting us when we felt fragile.  We're lucky to have you all.

In much-needed fantastic news, the tacos are back!!!  The taco truck has moved into a corner store in the neighborhood.  It's now serving its delicious tacos across a real counter inside a real store so can never drive away again.  We celebrated by having Seattle Family over and eating hundreds of tacos.  Seattle Family also brought a birthday cake for me because I successfully grew a year older last week.

Alex took me to Restaurant Zoe for my birthday.  We ate seared foie gras.  I'm not sure how the French would feel about that.  The other part of my present was two tickets to CatsCats was the first Broadway musical I saw as a kid, and kicked off my obsessive Broadway musical phase, which was nonstop fun for my whole family. 

I thanked Alex, agreed it would be nice to see Cats again after all these years.  But then Alex told me the second ticket wasn't for him, it was for Lucien.  The warm fuzzy feeling evaporated.  I said, "Wait....you want me to take Lucien to Cats and what's more, you consider it a present?  Are you insane, man?"

The show is in a couple weeks; I will spend the time between now and then begging Alex to go see Cats with me.

I also had a celebratory birthday night out with some of the neighborhood ladies.  We decided to start a book club.  We're not going to read any books, just go out to restaurants and drink wine.  Getting older isn't bad when you make grand plans like ours.

In not-so-great news, our Tiny Cottage is overrun with ants.  I returned from the grocery store one day to find a long line of ants winding across the dining room floor.  I armed myself with a spray bottle and a roll of paper towels and conducted an ant massacre of epic proportions.  I'm now worried their tiny ant ghosts are going to band together and seek revenge from the other side.  Whenever I hear a strange creak in the house, I yell, "Ant ghosts!" and crash through the screen door in my hurry to get the hell outta here.

The ants keep coming, I am powerless to stop them.  They appear to be pointing and laughing at my strategically-placed ant traps.  The only way I can keep them at bay is to regularly spray their entry point, which is directly under my writing desk, with a toxic spray cleaner.  It's possible I'm fuming myself to a dangerous degree, because as I write this, the chocolate Easter bunnies in the kids' baskets are talking to me.  (I should warn you all is not well in chocolate Easter bunny land -- they're planning something sinister according to the smiley one in the yellow bowtie known as "Mr. Pickles.")

We had a good Easter.  I had to return to the grocery store several times because the Cadbury Creme Eggs I bought for the kids' Easter baskets kept disappearing into my mouth.  I'd go back to the store, buy a few more, accidentally eat them again, go back to the store.  It was a vicious cycle, and now all my teeth are falling out.

The neighborhood Easter egg hunt was held in the backyard of The Goddamn House, which is kind of pathetic when you think about it.  We figured it was the best place to have it, on account of it being the biggest yard on the block.  It's also easy to hide eggs there -- it's so overgrown you just toss the eggs a couple inches in front of you and -- voila! -- hidden!

 the kids listening to Al's egg hunt instructions

Supermodel Neighbor uses the covered back porch of The Goddamn House as his carpentry workshop.  This offered more fantastic hiding opportunities -- our silly dumb kids didn't even consider looking in the jaws of the table saw.  It will probably surprise whoever owns the house someday to find our overlooked eggs hidden in piles of sawdust on the back porch.  They will know something happened back there.

We had Easter dinner with a handful of fellow neighbors who, like us, don't have family nearby.  With family far away, friends are family, maybe even slightly better because you get to choose them and don't have to buy them presents at Christmas. (Hugs, family!)

I was responsible for cooking half the Easter meal and it was not a disaster.  That's about as good as it gets when MJ's in charge of food.  I don't know if it's my midwestern upbringing or what, but I was shocked no one had heard of serving cherry sauce with the ham.  What the heck is the point of eating ham if it doesn't have cherries on top of it?  I just don't get people sometimes.

What was that noise?  Ant ghosts!


  1. where is the taco restaurant? i'm pretty sure your taco truck is my taco truck - down the block and across the street from my pool. i so miss those after-swim tacos... where did he go??

    1. Hi Susan! There are a couple pools and a couple taco trucks in the C.D., so let me just tell you what I know. There used to be a truck on Cherry and a truck on Union. Now one truck has moved into the corner store at Union and 21st (I think it's 21st?) and the other truck is parked across the street from it, though doesn't appear to be open for business at this time. There are tacos in the store, though -- now go get some tacos!

      Bye, Susan!

    2. doh... on the two pools. my truck was the cherry one.

      i'm off tomorrow to 21st and union.... i'll find it. thanks for the intel.

      i do enjoy reading your tales.

  2. Okay, speaking from experience as the mass-murderer of over 17 million tiny bastards since the start of our summer (which is like your winter but hotter and with more mojitos) - and yes I counted them all, you should see the size of the tiny pet cemetery out the back - the only thing that works is putting baby powder where they're coming in.

    In fact, I was so excited to have a reprieve from their incessant invasion that I went a little nuts... our house looked like a cocaine factory. Then I read about how fricken toxic baby powder is and cleaned it up. Now they're baaaaaack... I'm considering moving. Clearly they have won.

    1. Speaking of ants...we've had a few lately as well. They seem to prefer one of our kitchen counters and around one of the windows. I was in a panic when I found them one night and did an emergency google search. What I read was to wipe down the area with vinegar (this supposedly erases the trail the scout ants make) and then place a bunch of bay leaves in the area (they hate them) I went through a lot of leaves replacing them daily as I think they dry up quickly. This is seems to have worked pretty well. The only ants I find now are few and far between and they seem to be baby ants. I hope to eradicate the population soon.

      Looking back to the night I found them, it's amusing to remember me in the mud room removing all my clothing and throwing them in the wash...there was some screeching because I felt like I had ants crawling on me. I ran upstairs naked (wave to the neighbours :) to take a shower.


    2. Bec! Baby powder, eh? I'm on it.

      Linda, vinegar? I'm on that, too. Anything, anything... I've had a few of those moments where I feel like they're crawling all over me, too. The ant heebie-jeebies.

      Bye and thanks, ladies.

  3. Happy birthday, Mindy!:) Glad you had a good one! I thought of you last weekend while I was in Paris:) Many a nutella crêpe and pain au chocolat were eaten during those 3,5 days and a good time was had by all:)

    For all you know, the Loosh might LOOOOOOOOOOVE Cats (just tell him they're tiny dinosaurs!;))and decide to become a dancer!;)

    We don't have an ant problem in our little beach house in The Hague, but we have mice! They keep my husband company during the day (always a silver lining;))

    Leaving for Spain on Saturday for two weeks of language training and when I come back, I'll be two and a half weeks away from coming home! Time sure flies!

    Debs, I took a stroll for you in the Lux;) I even told my husband that I had promised to do so, so you were with us in spirit:) Hope it makes up for your team not making the play-offs... AGAIN;)

    1. ho Duch...thanks so much...that's so cool

      and we don't discuss hockey anymore...sadly our "team" felt it necessary to take out a full page ad in the papers apologizing for their performance this year..it doesn't get any lower than that...

      thanks again mom amie!!

    2. Thanks, Duchesse. Holy smokes, only a few weeks away from homecoming. Time does indeed fly.

      Oh, Paris....crepes, the Lux, pain au chocolat... why does all that feel like a lifetime ago? I've got to go back and see my old friend Paris sometime. Have fun in Spain. Sounds fabulous right now, as I look out the window at rain, rain, rain.

      Hi to you, too, Debbie. Oooooh....hockey burn. You guys just never stop. Good for you.

    3. Ironically, I chose San Sebastian again (as I like my school and I'm staying with a friend), where the climate is very similar to that of The Hague and Seattle... so the forecast for the next couple of weeks: mostly rain (with an expected/dreaded 52 mm on the day that I arrive! Yihaa!;)) Well, I'm going there to cram as much Spanish as I can before my exam, so I'll have nothing better to do than study and go to the movies to watch features dubbed in Spanish (they have great cinemas a stone's throw from where I'll be staying!;))

      Let's hope for a torrid and mostly dry summer in Eastern Canada!;) I've seen enough rain these past two years to last me for a lifetime!;)

  4. I agree with Bec and found out baby powder is a great ant killer. It definitely worked and only took a little over 48hrs for them to disappear and they have never returned but did not read the part about how toxic it is so will research that issue. Kathy

    1. Another vote for toxic baby powder. At least it won't smell as awful as this damn spray cleaner.

  5. Firstly..happy belated birthday to yoooou....
    Secondly...cherries on ham? really?
    Thirdly...totally understand the cadbury creme egg thing...damn them for making the mini ones so that they are even easier to eat...

    one of my friends at work took her little girl easter egg hunting..they get there and find that they have to buy tickets to collect the eggs...ookay...so she merrily collects the empty plastic eggs and takes them to the table to turn them in for her easter treats...what do they hand her?..one bag of potatoe chips for each plastic egg...what kind of easter treat is that?? weirdos..naturally much crying ensued.

    Mr. Debbie in toronto and I are off to Montreal for a long weekend on friday...will try to enjoy some poutine.

    oh and fourthly..."you americans" and your tacos...I don't think we get the attraction up here in the frozen north...what is the deal with tacos...that being said I'm glad your taco truck/shop is back..it's the small things MJ...


    1. Hi again, Debbie. Thank you and YES, put cherries on your ham. Your life will be changed for the better... though I'm suspicious of your palette now I know you don't like tacos. Very, very suspicious...because what's not to love about a taco...

      That Easter egg hunt sounds like the most eff'd up Easter egg hunt ever. That little girl got robbed.

      Oooh, enjoy Montreal. Hello to the Quebecois, and to the poutine.

    2. One bag of potato chip per plastic egg?! What a crock!

      Debs! Not poutine! Nooooooooooo!;))) (Actually, although I never eat the stuff, I love it;))

      Montreal is great. Enjoy!:)

    3. not a big poutine fan myself but I figure when in Rome...

  6. Happy Birthday, a little late but heart felt just the same.

    1. Thank you, Tara. I feel the love.

  7. Happy Birthday MJ. Glad to hear that the loosh has gotten past the horrid insane man incident!

    As to the ant problem I had a massive infestation in our house and here is what worked miracles.
    Use undiluted tea tree oil and place it near the ants entry points if you can find them. I just wipe it everywhere with a cotton ball. To deal with a big infestations I also add some oil to water and wipe everything down with it. You could instead add a few drops to a spray bottle of water and spray it around.

    It takes a couple of days as the ants make detours and try to get around it, but eventually they give up. And in my experience they don't come back for months. If you see any scouts, spray again.

    MIRACLE worker and environmentally sound.

    Good luck!

    1. Thanks, Academic Mom. And now a new remedy -- tea tree oil! You guys sure do have lots of ideas. I'm on it.

      What would I do without the comments section? I would probably just live with a bunch of ants...

      Thanks, and have a good day!

  8. The taco truck is back and you're in the saddle again. Youre karmas are deeply intertwined. It's a good omen even if I'm not clairvoyant. Have fistful of extra cilantro for me.

    You've definetly started a new trend in book clubs.
    Dostoevsky? Steinbeck? Who needs them?! In my new book club startup,
    our meetings will be held at Hooters and various strip clubs.

    I have no remedies for ant removal. All I've ever done was stomp
    them. A typical male solution to any and all problems.

    Judging from the picture, Al must be quite the orator when it comes to giving easter egg hunt instructions. The whole pack looks like they're witnessing Moses come down from the mountain with tablets.

    1. Bill, you're a funny one. Thanks for the LOL moment with the whole "Moses coming down from the mountain" thing. Alex is a surprisingly strong orator -- loud, uses lots of big words, commands a lot of attention. He really turned the Easter egg hunt rules into a spectacle, as he does with most things, really.

      Enjoy your new book club at the strip club. We'll be having ours down at the bar. Yeah, books!

    2. If you like to LOL, watch this actress perform rap


  9. hope you had a good birthday! (Mine was in Paris seeing Christopher Cross at Trianon - not good!).

    Creme eggs do have a habit of being eaten - have you tried 'Splats'? Even worse!!

    Start 'em young with musicals - sure Lucien will love the show. The spoil it all with les Miz!

    Take care

  10. I love my book club - you should join! Our official motto: My Book Club only reads Wine Labels.... you'd fit right in!

    My husband and I took our then 5 yr old son to see Cats at the Paramount in Seattle. As the play progressed, this kid was looking everywhere but at the stage; he couldn't sit still, and I was worried he was bothering everyone around him. Great, I thought, we've spent a gazillion dollars for tickets, and he could'nt care less. Sheesh. As we're driving home, we hear him singing "Mr. Mistoffelees" from the back seat..... every darn word!

    And every afternoon thereafter, you could find this cutie on the back deck, cassette deck turned all the way up, dancing and singing his heart out to Cats.....

    Enjoy the show!


  11. Can I join your book club. Please.

  12. Okay my kitchen is covered in teatree oil, bay leaves and vinegar. Smells like I'm making some kind of weird soup.

    I love that your comments section has turned into Ladies Home Journal :)

    1. I found an interesting link about all-natural ant repellents:


    2. Thanks Duchesse! I shall go check it out. Now quickly run away and hide before MJ catches us socializing...

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  14. Not sure how I even got to your Paris blog but spent a good 2 hours reading posts there, before jumping over here. Thanks for making me laugh on a crappy day :)

  15. It's only baby powder with talc that is toxic, I believe. Now they use corn starch. Maybe you can just use that and save some money. There are a bunch of solutions on the 'net that use organic methods.

  16. Happy belated birthday MJ! But don't take Lucien to Cats. Disaster. It has been foretold.

  17. Egads, I'm so tardy for the party, but belated Happy Birthday!