I love the YMCA. The YMCA is different from other gyms I've belonged to because fifty percent of its members are senior citizens. I enjoy working out alongside senior citizens for a couple reasons: one, they make me feel as agile as a jackrabbit, and two, senior citizens are doing some really strange, entertaining stuff at the gym.
The most bizarre sightings are usually in the free weight area. As I worked my biceps the other day, I observed a senior citizen on the ground in front of me doing what can only be described as "aggressive mat humping." Then I looked to my left and saw an elderly woman engaged in "dangling from that bar" coupled with "slight swinging."
Another woman was holding a weight like a baby and turning in circles. Behind her was an elderly man who believed lying prone on a mat staring at the ceiling was exercise enough for him. I probably should have checked the pulse on that guy.
(Please don't misunderstand -- I am not making fun of senior citizens. I have great affection for my fellow gym members, and big respect for anyone at any age who's committed to staying active, no matter how strangely they do it. Will I be a senior citizen humping a mat at the gym someday? God I hope so.)
Friday morning I was on the elliptical machine when an elderly woman with a huge smile, very loud voice, and thick unidentifiable accent climbed onto the machine next to me and went gangbusters. Her legs were flying all over the place. She turned to me with a big open-mouthed smile and yelled, "LOOK AT ME! I'M FASTER THAN YOU!"
I'm not the competitive type, but I didn't like everyone in the room thinking a tiny grandmother wearing street clothes and a large straw hat could outpace me on an elliptical. So I yelled back, "I'M ON MY COOL-DOWN AFTER 45 MINUTES OF INTERVALS SO BACK OFF, WOMAN."
I'm thinking about trying the "Silver Sneakers Cardio" class next week. I will be legend.
In other news, Coco is diapering dinosaurs --
The brachiosaurus has been a real b*tch to potty train
I'm writing this on Sunday. My Friday and Saturday were really something to talk about, but that's for another time.
I want to talk about today because it was a perfect one, both in terms of weather and low level of annoyance with my family members. They were downright fun -- all of them! -- all day.
We went east towards the mountains, stopping along the way for breakfast at IHOP. IHOP is considerably less fun since they started listing the calorie count of all their menu items right on the menu. It made us rethink our choices then make different, less fun choices. In related news, I hate turkey bacon.
After breakfast we drove to Snoqualmie Falls. We drove with all the windows down and the sunroof open, not just because Coco got carsick and threw up all over the place again, but because the day was too perfect to keep out.
I love where I live
proof I still exist
Our friend's brewery is right next to the falls so we stopped to grab a couple growlers. Aren't they beautiful?
like bottled sunshine
The rest of the day was spent in our backyard with the growlers, a couple wiffle balls and bats, an anthill, some light screaming, an aggressive game of tag, and many band-aids.
It would have been flawless if it weren't for that damn turkey bacon.
Go gangbusters, little lady,