Sunday, April 22, 2012

Turkey Bacon

I survived Spring Break 2012 by going to the YMCA a lot.  There's childcare there, plus a sturdy elliptical machine upon which to vent my parental frustrations.

I love the YMCA.  The YMCA is different from other gyms I've belonged to because fifty percent of its members are senior citizens.  I enjoy working out alongside senior citizens for a couple reasons: one, they make me feel as agile as a jackrabbit, and two, senior citizens are doing some really strange, entertaining stuff at the gym.

The most bizarre sightings are usually in the free weight area.  As I worked my biceps the other day, I observed a senior citizen on the ground in front of me doing what can only be described as "aggressive mat humping."  Then I looked to my left and saw an elderly woman engaged in "dangling from that bar" coupled with "slight swinging." 

Another woman was holding a weight like a baby and turning in circles.  Behind her was an elderly man who believed lying prone on a mat staring at the ceiling was exercise enough for him.  I probably should have checked the pulse on that guy.

(Please don't misunderstand -- I am not making fun of senior citizens.  I have great affection for my fellow gym members, and big respect for anyone at any age who's committed to staying active, no matter how strangely they do it.  Will I be a senior citizen humping a mat at the gym someday?  God I hope so.)

Friday morning I was on the elliptical machine when an elderly woman with a huge smile, very loud voice, and thick unidentifiable accent climbed onto the machine next to me and went gangbusters.  Her legs were flying all over the place.  She turned to me with a big open-mouthed smile and yelled, "LOOK AT ME!  I'M FASTER THAN YOU!" 

I'm not the competitive type, but I didn't like everyone in the room thinking a tiny grandmother wearing street clothes and a large straw hat could outpace me on an elliptical.  So I yelled back, "I'M ON MY COOL-DOWN AFTER 45 MINUTES OF INTERVALS SO BACK OFF, WOMAN."  

I'm thinking about trying the "Silver Sneakers Cardio" class next week.  I will be legend.

In other news,  Coco is diapering dinosaurs --

 The brachiosaurus has been a real b*tch to potty train

I'm writing this on Sunday.  My Friday and Saturday were really something to talk about, but that's for another time.

I want to talk about today because it was a perfect one, both in terms of weather and low level of annoyance with my family members.  They were downright fun -- all of them! -- all day. 

We went east towards the mountains, stopping along the way for breakfast at IHOP.  IHOP is considerably less fun since they started listing the calorie count of all their menu items right on the menu.  It made us rethink our choices then make different, less fun choices.  In related news, I hate turkey bacon. 

After breakfast we drove to Snoqualmie Falls.  We drove with all the windows down and the sunroof open, not just because Coco got carsick and threw up all over the place again, but because the day was too perfect to keep out.

I love where I live

proof I still exist

Our friend's brewery is right next to the falls so we stopped to grab a couple growlers.  Aren't they beautiful?

like bottled sunshine 
The rest of the day was spent in our backyard with the growlers, a couple wiffle balls and bats, an anthill, some light screaming, an aggressive game of tag, and many band-aids.  
It would have been flawless if it weren't for that damn turkey bacon.
Go gangbusters, little lady,


  1. that's your friend's brewery? it's a great little spot! we used to live near there (in carnation) and made frequent stops at both the falls and the brewery. thank you for the nostalgia... :)
    also, i, too, am in love with the Y.

    1. Hi Rachel. To be precise, it's the brother of the priest who married us, who is a good friend of Alex's, who owns the brewery. We've visited him there a few times, love the guy, love the beer, wish we lived closer. Forty minutes is a little long for a growler, wonderful though they are.

      The Pac NW says hello!
      Take care, Rachel

  2. Hee hee, oldies working out. Too funny.

    I don't know what's wrong with me, I've never quite figured out how to do the mum thing and the exercise thing at the same time. It takes some degree of coordination that seems to be beyond me. Maybe it's just that I can't leave my kids anywhere, and they're too uncoordinated to ride bikes with. So to compensate I roll them down hills a lot.

    And can I just say, Dang girl you have an envious social life! (Dang sometimes like to crossdress).

    What's a growler?

    1. Bec! Mom + exercise is hard. Real hard. I've been on a good jag lately, but who knows when life will get too nuts and I'll have to stop again. Don't take away my YMCA, life!

      I have an envious social life? If you say so. I also spend a lot of time watching crap TV by myself and fighting ants with spray cleaner, so...

      A growler is a jug thing. I have no idea why they're called growlers, but that's what all the breweries call the jug things you buy filled with beer. Any brewery people out there?

      Bye, Bec, always happy to see your name.

    2. What do I know, watching crap TV by myself (and the ants) IS my social life :)

      Ah, a jug thing. See if I had a more exciting social life I would know this. Actually I don't think I've ever seen them over here (but again, I'm not a very reliable source of brewery information).

      Oops. Forgot I'm supposed to be homeschooling... hey kids! Who can tell me what you call a bottle filled with beer...

  3. hey don't knock crap tv people...

    and MJ must say your hair colour is fab...still rocking the Paris red or did you have it done again? or was that just a freak lucky sun hits the hair just right picture..anyway..loving it.

    about to snow here today...winter lives!!

    don't come back yet's cold and crappy here.

  4. I'm glad you explained the 'growler' thing. I too have never heard of the term in connection with hop infused beverages. Might be a Pac NW thing.

    And your talk about exercising at the Y has insprired me. Sometimes I think my life has become a series a of getting out of and sitting back down into chairs. And I'm proud of your quick verbal parry with that old lady on the running machine who had you in Hester Prynne like shame for a moment.

    Trust your instincts. You are soooo right on the turkey and bacon. I am so against the mixing of meats that I consider anyone who does it has a severe character defect and I try to avoid them. Might as well tell me Pol Pot was a great person.

  5. I am one of those senior citizens that does strange and wierd things while working out but I still have sense enough to do it in my basement! I think that old guy lying prone was just "planking". I always finish my workout with a chilled vodka drink instead of the stuff in that growler. Kiss the kids for all of us and love your posts! Kathy in Iowa

  6. I really like the Snoqualmie wine I've been, um, enjoying. My husband's favorite beer here in MN is Surly, I wonder if he'd like the Snoqualmie beer...wish we could visit that brewery!

    Don't you love those perfect family days?? Heaven!

  7. The Y rocks! Some months ago I took a job in Harrisburg, PA, while my family has remained in Pittsburgh full-time. During the week I'm here alone, but every day I get to the Y at least once, sometimes twice. Cardio, weights, squash, yoga. I even picked a place to live based on only three essential criteria: air-conditioning, a parking space and walking distance to the Y.

  8. I'm guessing that's a clean diaper Coco used.

  9. Next time just cover up the calorie section and pretend you have no idea. Turkey bacon is NOT BACON.

  10. >>I am not making fun of senior citizens.
    Yes, you are, but that's OK. Sometimes I do too.
    Chrissoup (age 65)

  11. I heart your posts, chica. :) I've been reading them in my email inbox, but finally had a chance to come by today to leave a little note. Looks like the hijinks and shenanigans continue apace in the life and times of Ms. Moxie there in Sea-Town. That dinosaur diapering job is superb! The little miss will make a terrific babysitter and/or mom one day. She's got it all figured out already! That waterfall indeed looks perfect and OMG, did the Loosh grow, like, a FOOT in the past few months or what?! Look at his long legs!

    Caca boudin.
    Just had to get that out there -- thanks to you, I have been able to communicate well with small fries -- the Frenchie ones. :)

    Also, LOL @ Chrissoup up there! I just read his comment as I was typing and I really did LOL.


  12. Don't knock turkey bacon. It is a staple in our household and something we missed terribly in Paris! Although now I miss those little packages of lardons you could get in the supermarket. :) My answer to the mom/exercise thing is the 7 am workout...even now and my kids are big.

  13. Don't knock turkey bacon! It gives meaning to my otherwise dull breakfast and it was something I missed terribly in Paris. Although now I miss those little packages of lardons you could buy in the supermarket; go figure.