Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Underwear Head

We got the house.  We got it, we got it.  A million times, we got it.

This is how I feel 

This is how Alex feels

(Aaahhh,those photos....blasts from the past from the ole Paris blog.)

So which house was it?  I'm not going to tell just yet, mainly because I'm still scared to speak its name aloud and tempt the universe.  Also, because I have more house search photos I want to use --

Is it this one?

This one?

This one?

This one?

The suspense is killing me!  Just tell me already!

I've started writing a book.  It is indeed about Paris.  It started off great but I think I've been distracted by recent events because this is what I have so far:

"So this one time I moved to Paris.  It was really something.  But never mind all that because then we came home and bought this house.  Hey, can I borrow your circular saw?"

We have the inspection Friday.  That's when the inspector will tell us everything that's wrong with the house, everything that isn't up to code, and put visions in our heads of us frying in our beds at night thanks to that frayed electrical wire in the attic.  We never sleep well the night after an inspection.  We stay up late making lists of "how not to die in our new home."  The first item is oftentimes "live outside."

Coco and her favorite friend, we'll call him Jojo.

Lucien nearly missed his school bus this morning.  Coco has a new bike she insists on riding to and from the bus stop every day.  It has a handle thing sticking out the back so I can push her if necessary, but it makes her angry when I do.  If I have the audacity to grab the handle, she immediately turns the wheel and drives herself straight into a neighbor's retaining wall.  That girl would rather crash than be told what to do or how fast to do it.  It sometimes makes for a slow trip to the bus stop.

Today the bus arrived when we were still five or six houses away.  I yelled, "Lucien, go!  Run!  Catch it!" so he ran, yelling at the top of his lungs -- which is even louder coming from Lucien than most people -- "Sh*t! Hey, wait! Sh*t!

It was a beautiful morning so lots of people were out walking dogs or sitting on their front porches drinking coffee.  I waved at them weakly then slunk back home wearing a scarlet "P" on my back (for "pottymouth") and trying to convince my daughter not to wreck her tricycle just because I wanted to get home by lunchtime.

I swear on the blog regularly but honestly don't swear much in my daily life.  It's possible I slipped up once or twice and Lucien heard me -- but nah, let's blame it on someone else.  The most likely culprit is the old hippie lady next door who seems sweet as pie and often has Lucien over to help pull vegetables in her garden.  I bet she's a real swear-hound at heart.  Probably hates puppies, too.

I picked Lucien up from school this afternoon and a little girl told me Lucien brings underwear on the bus in the morning.  When I asked The Loosh what she was talking about,  he opened his backpack and showed me the the pair of underwear inside.  He said he brings a pair every morning and wears them on his head all the way to school.  He likes to make the kids laugh, even asks them to call him "underwear head."

Al and I are having a conference with his teacher next week to discuss Underwear Head's behavior. We've been expecting the call.

Happy Late Mother's Day to me,


  1. Ah! Good for you! Hope it's all you want it to be, and more!

  2. Hurray! Congrats!

  3. Huzzah and Pirates! Don't worry about the inspection, enjoy this rare window when you get to enjoy owning the house without any of the actual responsibility of, you know, owning the house. Pickles!

    If it's any consolation, my son's first complete sentence was "There's f**ing cheese on my sandwich". Ah, good times.

  4. congrats! Hope the inspection goes well.

    Underwear on his head huh....are you familiar with the Captain Underpants series of books? lol


    1. Ha! This was my first thought. Captain Underpants. Then I thought that maybe MJ wouldn't want to put any ideas in the Loosh's head. :)

  5. Now would not be a good time to watch Holmes Inspection on HGTV. He wil tell you how badly your inspector f**ked up and then tear your house apart and fix it so it won't kill you. Unless of course, the show pays for it all.

  6. Enjoyed the drink I had with you via the invitation on twitter after you got the news, but Congrats again!! I am going with pic #3..the kitchen. Kathy in Iowa

  7. Well done on the house you guys!! congrats...

    The Loosh with underpants on his head? Can you imagine what his teachers in Paris would have thought?....I suppose as long as they are clean underpants..what's the harm?

    Mme Cokes ...still from another planet, non?

  8. Congrats on getting the house!
    My money is on pic #3.

  9. Sorry I have been away for a while... Too much sun in Seattle these days. It's making me giddy and unproductive (well, that and being a room parent in a 6th grade classroom...) What did I miss? What did I miss? You bought a house? You are writing a book about Paris? And Lucien has turned into Captain Underpants while Coco has decided to take the driver's test before summer? Excellent, excellent... This is the stuff great books are made of. Wonderful day to you, on the other side of the bridge! Veronique (French Girl in Seattle)

  10. I am going to guess that it is picture #2. The 2X4 handrail seems like your style. -Uncle Alex

  11. Félicitations! That's all the Frenchie I know.
    Looks like you're feelin fine on cloud nine. Warm and
    fuzzy feelings out the wazoo. And the beach snap of
    Alex Livingston seagull is a classic. The slugging
    down of wine bottles is now in order.
    I'm so happy Coco has a new found drinking partner. Somebody
    she can talk to about her tricycle domineering mother.
    The excerpt from your book was stunning. You sure know how
    to sum things up nicely. And there's a slight valley girl
    style except they wouldn't know anything about a circular saw.
    Better brush up on that Pulitzer acceptance speech.
    I do fear that Lucien's underwear hat may lead to yet
    another revoking of his 'self management badge'.

  12. Has Lucien been introduced to Captain Underpants? I'm guessing yes. Can't wait to hear more about the house.

  13. YAY!!!! Many congratulations!! I'm so excited and sending good juju your way. My guess it is house no. 3 up there in the pics -- the kitchen picture. That last one looks too "fixed up already" for you guys, and not really your style as I perceive it to be. The first one (the basement one) also looks like it does not have enough problems for y'all (it looks like it is a functioning basement!! LOL). The second one with no banisters (jeez 'o' pete's...) is a good candidate, too, because it obviously needs work (*snicker*). However, it also seems too modern for you, and I have pegged you as older home people. Maybe I am too influenced by the fact that you lived in a 17th century apartment in Paris, haha.

    I wanna be the crazy babysitter in the book. You can embellish and exaggerate as you wish. I don't mind being a composite character, AND if you can make me rock star cool (even tho' I am really a nerd), I'd appreciate it. Just sayin'. ;-) (I also won't mind a bit if I am not in it at all for I know how these things work. I still want bragging rights that I know you, though. :D)

    And THANK YOU for that great photo of Alex as Seagull! I do so love that pic, and I love that you keep it alive and well.

    Just this past week, I helped put some underwear on the head of the little French guy I babysit and we laughed and laughed. But I SWEAR I did not ever, ever teach it to the Loosh when I was watching him. Swear. It was not my fault.

    I'm not sure what it says about me that I, along with a bunch of Washintonian Kindergarteners, think it is really hilarious. I can imagine it is not something appropriate for the classroom, though, haha. Good luck with the teacher. :)

    And can't wait for more news about the house. :) I'm glad things are settling into greater peace there for you! Woo hoo!


  14. P.S. @ Bec: "If it's any consolation, my son's first complete sentence was "There's f**ing cheese on my sandwich". Ah, good times."

    Hahahahahahahahahaha!! Awesome, lol. :D

  15. Hooray!!!! Congratulations, that's great news!! Looking forward to reading all of your blog posts about the house.

    My son's first swear was g*d*mmit. He was two. Yes, I was very proud.


  16. I remember my nephew's first swear, age 4: we were playing the Cootie Game and all of a sudden he looked down at his completed Cootie (he'd won the game) and said, rather quietly: "F*ck". You know, like he was trying it on for size to see how it felt coming out of his mouth. I said, "Sweetie, what did you just say?" and he replied, looking me calmly in the eye, "I said F*ck to the cootie". Just then, my sister passed the doorway and I ratted my nephew out: "Mommie, do you know what Steven just said?" and I repeated it, you know, trying to keep a straight face and all. She just burst out laughing. (He didn't hear that word at home either; he heard it from the babysitter's son. Or so my sister claims.)

    That same nephew got married last summer. I can't wait until one day he's playing some game with a kid of his own and has to try and keep a straight face when that kid lets HIS first swear word fly.

    BIG congrats on the house. That's really wonderful news. I'm sure your new neighbors will be delighted to be living next door to Underwear Head's family. As they d*mn effing well should be.

  17. Yeaaaayy! Congratulations and many, many, years of happy times in your new house!

  18. Back again. Fingers crossed on everything house. My daughter and husband just finally closed on a house she's been haggling for and having last minute disappointments with for several months.

    But I really came over here this time to tell you I've awarded you the Sunshine Award because I associate Sunshine with happy, and you consistently knock me out of my chair with laughter.

  19. Ahhhhhh you tease!;)

    Back in Ottawa (yeah!) where we walked into a pigsty of a condo (thank you tenants! Thank you property manager! Good work!)... but we're almost done fixing it now. It's weird to be back... in the sense that the morning after, I felt as though I had never left! The Hague feels like a distant dream/memory and it did within hours of our return to the land of customer service!

    Congratulations on finally getting the house! Hope the home inspection will seal the deal:) I know all too well the feeling of being homeless:)

    Debs, did you feel the earth move in Trenna on Wednesday afternoon?;)

  20. Hooray hooray hooray! I imagine there will be many trips to IKEA and Home Depot in your future!

    Happy shopping,
    The StayingPositives

  21. No home inspections in France. Only caveat emptor. Always a surprise to punch out a wall and find it filled with horsehair from the 18th century. "But this is the BEST insulation", they will tell you.