Monday, January 16, 2012

Hippies and chronic undressers

We watched the Golden Globes last night.  It was like watching a Golden Globes broadcast beamed down from an alien planet because we didn't know the films, TV shows, or actors mentioned.  After every close-up of a nominee's face, Al and I would say in unison, "Who the hell is that?"  Then we turned off the TV and went to bed because we realized we didn't care.

Speaking of returning ex-pats lost in the homeland,  I am thrilled to announce I've been re-united with my Paris friend, L.A. Mom.  She lives in Seattle now, moved here six months ago.  She's been waiting for me.  We went out for beers Friday night and my face hurt for a full day afterwards because of the laughing. 

L.A. Mom has a crazy job in Seattle.  She's a math teacher but works at a hippie school.   I like hippies, in fact consider myself a hippie enthusiast, but after talking to L.A. Mom I don't think I want them teaching my children.

When I asked about a typical day for her daughter, who attends kindergarten at the (crazy expensive, by the way) hippie school (for free, because she teaches there) she said "Well, they take a long walk." It's her understanding they walk to the park and play with sticks.  They've been building a fort thing for awhile, but have recently discovered homeless people sleeping in it.  (At least there's one beneficial, if completely unintentional, socially-conscious component to the crazy expensive walk to the park.)

L.A. Mom, along with all the other teachers at the school, has to attend regular meetings in which everyone sits in a circle, drinks tea and discusses their feelings.  Sometimes there are presentations.  After the presentations, the teachers are asked to journal and draw a picture expressing how they feel about what they heard.

After a recent talk on the three parts of reproduction (sperm has three parts, egg has three parts, apparently it's more complicated than any of us ever knew, and I have no idea why teachers are talking about this), L.A. Mom didn't know what to draw.  She ended up drawing some circles, hoping it would pass as some circle-of-life sh*t or whatever.  She glanced over at a co-worker's page.  He'd drawn a rainbow.

Rainbow Guy caught her looking at his page so L.A. Mom told him she liked his drawing.  He shrugged, lowered his voice and told her it's what he always draws.  Every time there's a presentation and he's asked to draw his feelings, he just draws a rainbow and everyone tells him it's beautiful.  L.A. Mom and Rainbow Guy are friends now.

I was reunited with another old friend over the weekend, too.  I worked with her back when Al and I were first married.  I was working as a stock trader back then.  I can't really believe it either.

The Loosh and my stock trader friend's son were similar boys energywise before we left for France.  We were happy to discover they still are.  You can barely tell the two boys apart as they smack Al's butt in unison.

My friend's dad used to be an actor and very involved in the local theater scene.  She tells me he's no longer an actor, though;  now he's an "elderly model" and is currently featured in an ad for a clothing line created for chronic undressers. (this is apparently a real affliction in which elderly people can't keep their clothes on.  Horrifying stuff.)  She became aware of his most recent modeling gig when she flipped through a catalog and saw a picture of her dad sitting in a wheelchair, dressed in a shirt that buttoned up the back with a bowl of Cheerios on his lap.

We had a pretty snowstorm in Seattle yesterday.  There's much, much more snow coming, which probably means school closure, which would be a lot of fun if I hadn't jam-packed this week with stuff I MUST DO WITHOUT THEM.  So OK, none of it will get done and life will go on.

I walked down to Rite-Aid yesterday and there, tucked next to the Snuggies and the Pajama Jeans and some product called "The Forever Lazy," I saw this --

Now I know how to answer when someone asks me how French people stay so thin.  I'm going to say "they're willing to bend over to wash their own feet."

You've got to help yourself, America.  Jesus.

Snowmageddon on the way.  I'm going to go draw a picture expressing how I feel about that.
(It's a rainbow)


  1. I like rainbows.

    BTW it may just be our upside down internet, but you have some fun code in the middle of your post.

    User2C too. I used to work6.1; WOW64; rv:9hen Al and I were first married. If you must know, I was working as a stock trader. I bet ept-Language: eng "Wow, that totally sounds like a job MJ would do" right now. (If you're thinking that, you don'tlive
    Referer: hll, which is fine, because I probably don't know you at all.)

    Cookie:tock "

    I liked Cookie:tock the best. It sounded naughty.

  2. ok ok I promise not to use the "easyfeet" I got for Christmas. I will be bending over in that shower very soon. Kathy in Iowa

  3. I refused to watch the GG. I hate that s#%t. I'm not sure why exactly, but I do. I will admit to watching the E! red carpet, though. Even though it makes me feel bad about myself, that like not washing your own feet is apparently the American way. (I've seen that thing and don't get it either)

    Yay to reconnecting with friends!

  4. Someone's gotta put those slippers together with these for twice the lazy action!

  5. That foot thing is just wrong on so many levels......

  6. Hi MJ,

    Really enjoyed the, um, oddness of today's post. Especially the part where you started to talk about your old stock trader pal and then there was a glitch in the Matrix.

  7. Much as I enjoy the extra PIZAZZ that random code adds to today's post, I'm now going to attempt to surgically remove it. Last time this happened, the entire post got eaten. If it happens again, you will hear me throttling Blogger from afar.

    Cookie.tock everybody!

  8. Code is gone, though cookie:tock makes me think cookie:o'clock. Which should really be a real time.

    "You've got to help yourself, America. Jesus." totally made me choke on my coffee laughing.

    You're awesome. (As if you didn't know.)

  9. i thought it was me this morning...i read reread and read again...then i just thought WOW MJ HAS TAKEN IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL-but i was afraid to comment-i have lived here for the last three years and NEVER know who those people are(awards shows)-enjoy your week and PLEASE keep us posted on the PTA developments!

  10. OK, cookie o'clock is funny. It's cookie o'clock somewhere so let's get to it.

    G, that's right, I took it to a whole new level. Ima start writing in code so KEEP UP, POSSE.

  11. From BonJello to BizarroJello...I am married to Mr. Stock-Trading-Wall-Street and, before the wee francophiles came along, I taught math at our local very expensive hippie private school. LA Mom's depiction of life behind the rainbow curtain is spot on. While my own little baguette toters attend the neighborhood school (lucky's one of The Good Schools), I must say that most of my former prepubescent protesters (war, pollution, you name it--they could organize a protest in ten minutes flat) went on to be valedictorians and such.

    I await The Big Storm tonight, too. Kids are hoping to replace school with skiing. Don't they know it's The Good School???

  12. Yes, but do you bother to exfoliate your feet, or just slide the soap around on them?

  13. stockbroker mj, american mom in frenchie land mj, blogger mj. I think you should start a line of aspirational dolls. I'd buy 'em for Frances! :-)

  14. LOL! Thanks for a great laugh. Loved hippies and rainbow guy.

  15. I remember that when I returned from our oversea assignment. Tried to catch up...but never saw some of those movies...I also remember that every single commercial on t.v. was "new" to me, and actually found myself watching them!

  16. I'm drowning in paint this week, just came up for air and realized I had missed your post earlier this week! Loved the post, though there were so many topics I don't even know what to comment on. I'll admit it almost felt like when your 3 year old runs up to you, rapidly tells you many random interesting facts and then dashes off again. You want to ask questions and comment and laugh and all you can do is smile. So I'll just sit here and smile and dream about what my life might have been had I gone to a hippie school.

  17. Thanks for the great laugh, Mindy! I spit out my tea probably 10 times reading this post!