Wednesday, May 2, 2012

où est la girafe?

The Frenchies have returned to my life.  It's not a second too soon, either, because Lucien's French is now rusty at best.  He still has it inside his spongy little kid brain, but it's also been leaking out of that sponge at a rapid rate since our return.

I tried signing him up for a class for fluent kids at the Alliance Francaise.  I received a call a few hours before the first class was to begin. The woman on the other end spoke earfuls of French at me -- French for which I was not prepared.

"What's happening to me?  I'm frightened!" my brain begged inside my head.  My brow was so furrowed I think my hairline touched my eyeballs.

After several long confusing moments, I was able to retrieve and plug back into my French mode.  I then understood Lucien's class was cancelled because Lucien was the only one signed up for it.  I wish she would have told me that a week earlier, when registration ended and it became clear no one else was going to enroll.  Instead, she hung onto her little secret until the last minute.

My annoyance at a French woman and the language confusion really took me back to our Paris days.  (Has it really been five months back on U.S. soil already?)

We signed Lucien up for a private tutor instead.  After his first lesson, his teacher, an adorable young French woman I'll call Mademoiselle Mimi, told me Lucien's vocabulary is shockingly bad for having spent three years in Paris.  During one exercise, she pointed to a picture and asked, "Where's the giraffe?" and Lucien pointed to the dog.  When she asked "where's the boy?" Lucien pointed to the girl.  He didn't get one question correct.

As she told me this, Lucien started laughing like a madman.  He seemed suspiciously pleased.  Mlle. Mimi then slowly turned towards me and said, "I'm just now realizing he may have been messing with me," and I nodded, "Yep, that's likely."

Welcome to The Loosh, Mademoiselle Mimi.  Don't be too distressed by the premature gray hairs about to sprout all over your head.  They're like little merit badges.

We're back, baby.

Lucien's school's PTA fundraising auction was Saturday night.  We sat at a table with some of our favorite friends which is never a dull time.  But the most exciting news is I bid a bunch of money and won Lucien's class project, a watercolor collage thing they created especially for the auction.  It was a battle between all the parents in the class to win it, so now I have many enemies I will see on a regular basis.  I am an island!

Here it is.  It's called "Bamboo Forest."  Lucien's piece is in the upper left hand corner.  It surprises no one his contribution looks like someone giving the world the middle finger --

The bamboo says "screw you."

Chalk it up to "anything goes" Seattle, but one of the items up for bid was a vasectomy from "Dr. Snip."  The highest bidder also received a bottle of whiskey and a bag of sex toys from renowned Seattle sex shop, Toys in Babeland, to go along with it.  A guy won the whole package (HA!) amidst many hoots and cheers and, finally, some high-fives.


Since we all still had our babysitters for another hour after the auction ended, several of us had a nightcap at Seattle Mom and Dad's house.  There was dancing in the kitchen.  It was amazing, especially Alex's trademarked "lobster dance" and the off-rhythm clapping and "over zee borderline" Madonna lyric sung by German Seattle Dad.

"Every time I have fun it ends up on the internet."
-- Al, unfortunate husband of a blogger

And finally, here's my toothless wonder -- two teeth lost in the past 48 hours. 

Now he talks with a cute little toothless boy lisp.  I would freeze the moment if I could -- and if he otherwise wasn't being a total beast on a daily basis.

Toothless boy,  you know damn well where that giraffe is...


  1. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth... my two front teeth... yeah my two front teeth;)

    Doesn't Al speak French at all to the kids? Or do they do what my friend S's son does to her and categorically refuses to answer in French because they live in Ireland and his other friends don't speak it? (And she only ever speaks to him in French...)

    13 "dodos" before the big move... and we've already lost sleep over all there is to do (and there's hardly anything left cuz I had the good sense to start preparing back in March). We're hoping to have done it all before election night on Sunday (we're going to an Irish pub with Frenchy friends to see and comment the results of the French election live).

    Moving is a bitch, mes choux:)

    1. Duchesse, dear Duchesse, hang in there because yes, moving IS a bitch. Eyes on the prize... prize being Canada...

      Al does speak French to the kids, but he's not around much during the week thanks to his crazy work schedule, and then on the weekends Lucien always pulls the "We're in the U.S., we speak English" thing. Such an annoyingly conservative statement coming from the little guy.

      He got made fun of in the early days of our return for lapsing into French, too, which didn't help matters any.

      Anyway, hang in there, have fun viewing the Frenchie election results with friends! I will probably watch them via Twitter.

      Hugs, D.

  2. Your title reminds me of that Flight of the Conchords's video you posted on your other blog;) Où est livre? À la bibliothèque. Et la musique danse? À la discothèque. Et la discothèque?...;))

    1. Thanks for reminding me of that. I'm going to go watch it on YouTube.

  3. Such an auction would liven up a French fund-raising no end. Must suggest it sometime...

    1. Certainly would liven it up a bit. Can't imagine a vasectomy being auctioned off in France, though. Aren't those things still illegal there? Alex asked his French doctor about vasectomies when we were over there and he said, "I would have no idea where to even tell you to go." Frenchie men apparently don't cut the vas def.

      Cheers, Sarah! Good day to you.

  4. I love the classroom art. :)

    And the picture of the toothless wonder! Awwww!

    1. Hi Adrianne,

      You'll have your own toothless wonder any day now. Glad you agree my classroom art was worth the cutthroat bidding war. I love it.

      Thanks for saying hi as always...

  5. Howdy... 3am... awake... insomnia... homeschooling... egads... kids... everywhere... sleep... unattainable... crankiness... increasing... mind... losing... posts... hilarious...

    (That's either a comment or a random collection of the only words my brain is capable of forming. Pirates!)

    1. That's a lot of words there, Bec. Rest up best you can -- I get the sense there's a lot going on in your world right now.


    2. Pfft, that's just how we roll in the nuthouse. But as they say, God doesn't give you anything you can't handle without also giving you the keys to the liquor cabinet. I may have that wrong, I'm quite the heathen.

      Did you find somewhere to crash during your brief period of homelessness?

    3. Thank you, God, for those keys.

      It's looking likely we're staying at a friend's house for that brief period, with a few days perhaps at a local hotel. This is absolutely ridiculous. Cheers!

  6. It is my contention that a primary French trait is sneakiness.
    Trickery and deception come naturally to many of them.
    And your language lesson episode with the Alliance Francaise woman
    is yet more confirmation for me.
    And we will forgive them for they know not how to overcome their DNA.

    Lucien has even picked up on this from his years in France
    and used it to mess with the French teacher, purposely giving
    the wrong answers. If he keeps this up he may become a politician.
    God forbid.

    1. Hi Bill. You always have a good theory to explain the stuff going on around here. Sneakiness, on the part of French woman and the part of the Loosh, is a good one.

      Lucien will either become a politician, a comedian, or an actor. God help us all.

  7. Just wait till those new big teeth come in...he'll suddenly look so's a killer.

    ahhh...record company days..if I told you everything I'd have to kill ya.

    I'm reading those crazy 50 shade books...set in are a randy lot!

    1. Hi Deb. Sigh. I don't want him to look older. I don't want him to be older, either. What a strange thing it is, to be annoyed by him near constantly yet not wanting him to change a bit.

      We are randy. Very.

      So intrigued by your past, Debbie....I get the sense you were pretty randy too...

    2. I get the sense she still is;))

      Hi Debs!;)

  8. A toothless Lucien is an even more adorable Lucien, if that's possible. Babes in Toyland is located in Seattle? Still have those ants? I think I've just found the incentive for Tony, our bug guy, to move out west!

  9. Hi Tara -- not Babes in Toyland, it's Toys in Babeland. Even better, right? See ya soon, Tony!

  10. That bamboo forest would look even more awesome in stained glass!